Always Second Best
by NinjahGirl
Summary: Sam Puckett loves Freddie Benson. She goes missing for weeks because of jealousy and Freddie wants in. Angsty Seddie one-shot. Rated T/M for language.


**Okay, so I live in the UK, and iLLM premieres today, but since i live with three annoying brothers, I can't watch it since they **_**hate **_**iCarly. What weirdo's. Anyway. So, I discovered an AWESOME Seddier on Youtube, the username is 'JCroxtcfssox' and I was watching a video of her's/his called 'Seddie Come Home'. It's very moving. I've found out the song, its by One Republic called 'Come Home'.**

**Anyways. I got in a very angsty mood after watching it, so I felt like writing this. For those of you wondering about my Dramione fic, its because I'm on a ****huge**** Seddie high, and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on Harry Potter. Sorry. xD**

**Enjoy!**

_Always Second Best__ – An Angsty Seddie One-shot._

My name is Sam Puckett. I am in love with Freddie Benson. I loved him ever first our first kiss, but continued to bully him in order to stamp out those feelings. I love him.

But he can never know that.

Carly Shay. _My best friend. _Freddie has always had eyes for Carly, and I've been 'part of the package' that he had to deal with, I guess. I used to steel myself everyday in order to face them, seeing Freddie continue to flirt with her, whatever it took to steal her heart. Carly was the sweet, bubbly girl on iCarly, I was the tough girl who was amazingly best friend's with this girl. Carly had a list of boys that was head over heels for her. I remember looking at Freddie one day, just figuring him out. He was always the one for me, but he'd never like me. Never. Watching him and Carly laughing away, and then looking down whenever he glanced at me, like I was a stone in his shoe. Carly turned a blind eye to this, but she didn't know I liked Freddie. I gripped my soda bottle, it on the edge of cracking under pressure. Carly was made for Freddie. Me? Hah, never.

_Always second best._

I starting cutting. Always on my legs, since I never wore anything too short. I used to smile satisfied when I saw the blood run. Suicide. Anorexia to look stick thin like Carly. **[Okay, I'm going to make some scenes up now.]** Then came the fateful day when I couldn't stand it anymore and disappeared for weeks on end. Then stupid Freddie cornered me.

"_Why'd you leave Sam? Me and Carly were worried sick about you! Where'd you go?" He asked, one late night next to the Groovie Smoothie. He was unbearably close and it looked like _concern_ in his eyes._

"_Get away from me. It's none of your business."I hissed and edged away, down the street. He grabbed my arm, and it _hurt._ He pulled me back, and exclaimed,_

"_Sam! Don't walk away from me! I cannot _believe you!_" I cooled my head and said,_

"_My mom got married and I had to go with her." He narrowed his eyes. His hand left my arm and I could breathe._

"_Bullshit." He said darkly. Freddie Benson _swore?

"_How would _you _know?" I gasped as my eyes started to burn. "You're too fucking busy making puppy-dog eyes at Carly to know what my life is like! You hardly know me!"_

_His eyes softened. "Sam, me and Carly _care _abo-"_

"_Bullshit." I whispered, mimicking his words. "You don't know shit about me Freddie Benson. You never will." I started to walk away, before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up to him. "Get _off _me Benson! Don't _touch _me!"_

"_Sam!" he yelled at me. "Don't do this to me! You know I care about you!" he took hold my shoulders an my jaw set. He continued in a softer voice. "I care about you Sam. A lot more than you think."_

_Foreign water fled down my cheeks._

"_Get off me. Get off me, or. You. Will. _Die._" He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him. "What am I to you Benson? The little thing on the back of your shoe? Do you know how much I hate myself? Do you know how it hurts to always be second best to Carly?"_

_He shook his head, hands _still _on my shoulders. "Sam. You're not seco-"_

"You don't understand!_ I hate it! I live with this everyday, watching you flirt with her, watching _every _boy flirt with her! You don't give a fuck about me Benson and you never will!" I screamed, my breath hitching, my eyes over-flowing. "Let _go_ of me Benson. _Let go!"

_His eyes glistened as he replied. "Don't do this. Don't shut down on me."_

_I shook my head and looked at him dead in the eye. "I shut down a long time ago."_

_I shrugged out of his arms and ran away, anywhere that wasn't him._

"_Sam!" he called, but I ignored, furiously fisting away the tears. I ran away, and never looked back._

I cried myself to sleep that night, and missed school that week. My heart had been broken a long time before that, but it felt as if someone had crushed anything I ever had. It stands like that to this day. Unspoken heartbreak and cold shoulders. Carly knew nothing.

_I was always going to be second best._

**Well, there you go!**

**I'm sorry if you're not satisfied with the content, because I'm not that pleased with this, but oh well.**

**Review my lovelies! It's for the children! **

**NOTE: The none italics in the Groovie Smoothie scene were basically supposed to be italics for the italics. If that makes sense. xD**


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